We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
