sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
