She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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