In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
