Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
