ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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