yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
