she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
