That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
