So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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