You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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