Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize