We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
