Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
