I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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