4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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