Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You dont lie about slip and slides
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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