So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
