real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
