there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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