I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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