Can Purell be used as lube?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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