I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
