who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize