im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
