sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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