Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
