Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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