That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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