i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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