Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
