You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She even gives head with a lisp.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
