the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
