I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize