I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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