I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
