Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
