I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
