i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I came so hard my ears popped.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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