My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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