just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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