I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
