you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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