I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
