Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
