Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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