So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize