no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
