i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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