I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
