you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
