Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
