My room smells like vodka and shame
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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