Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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