its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
