shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
