dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I want a musical about memes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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