Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
