At least make sure they are 18
Why
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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