Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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