Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
