Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
