But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize