the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
