Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
