My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
