you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
