I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
