omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
