Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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