When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
false alarm, still single
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
