whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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