I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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