They should really pass out barf bags in church
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
how does that bad decision feel?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
